When the Fitgirl Doesn’t Feel So Fit

I have always prided myself on being fit. After all, I AM Fitgirl! With a name like that, its a MUST that I stay fit, right?

Well…these days, its not working out so well. I mean…I could make excuses like life got in the way or my children and their activities are holding me up or my cat’s feedings are cutting into my gym time. But if I am completely honest with myself, I have to admit that the reason why I am not so fit these days is because I love food.

I love looking at food. Smelling food. Touching food. Eating food. And not just any food. I am talking about the foods that everyone says is sooooo bad for you. I love funnel cakes found at carnivals. French fries with Old Bay and Malt Vinegar. Onion petals and horseradish sauce. Pancakes topped with warm apples, syrup and whipped cream. Banana pudding milkshakes with little bits of vanilla wafers mixed in. I love all the stuff that wreaks havoc on my mid section and thighs. And where I was able to eat as much of this stuff as I wanted when I was in my 20’s and even in my 30’s, these days, simply LOOKING at these items causes belly bulge! And I have to confess that I have indulged, partook, ate and ENJOYED all of the above listed items. And the Fitgirl became the Not So Fit Girl!

I stuffed my face and watched the numbers on the scale go up. I got frustrated as the numbers went up and I ate some more. I watched my fit friends post pictures of their pre-show lean and mean bodies as I popped dill flavored Lay’s chips in my mouth. I kept telling myself that tomorrow I am going to stop eating everything that is causing my waistline to expand and start back to eating more fruits and veggies. But first, I am going to have this last plate of pancakes.

The icing on the cake for me? Well…that came when I went into my closet to find a pair of shorts to wear while going out with my sons. I tried on the first pair and I couldn’t get them to budge past my thighs. Okay…fine…that’s only the first pair. I pulled out a second pair. I got them over my thighs but I had a terrible wedgy and couldn’t begin to get the zipper up. *sigh* Okay…third pair…got them over my thighs but they were so tight I looked like I was auditioning for porn queen…sooooo inappropriate for an outing with children! So on to pair number four. Like the first pair, my thighs were not having it! I took a breather…looked down at the discarded pool of shorts at my feet and wondered if it was worth going on. Do I keep humiliating myself by trying on pairs of shorts that were too big last summer but seem to be screaming when I pulled them on this summer? Hmmm…I’m thinking that there is NO way that ALL of my shorts are too small! Like, I know that I have been reckless with the eating, but the pancakes and milkshakes really hadn’t done THAT much damage had they? So what the numbers on the scale had gone up by 20 lbs within the last three months. So I soldiered on and pulled out shorts number five. I stuck one leg in…then the second. Got them up over the thighs AND I got them to zip and button close…BUT…I couldn’t breathe nor could I walk. And sitting down was definitely out of the question. UGHHHHH!!! Not giving up hope, I picked up pair number six. I looked at the shorts with hope in my heart and started to put them on when I noticed the size on the tag. I didn’t bother to put them on because I knew that they would NEVER make it up my thighs–let alone close. Frustrated, I sank to the floor amidst the discarded shorts and mentally replayed every cake, pie, cookie, bag of chips, pancake, milkshake, etc etc etc…and I began to feel bad for myself. Am I to be resigned to mumus and capes this summer? WHYYYYY did I let this happen?

So…now that I cannot fit my clothes, now that I am feeling sorry for myself, now that I realize that my reckless eating has not so good consequences…NOW WHAT?

The first thing is acknowledging that something has to change. And the very first thing that has to change is what I am allowing myself to eat. I have always been strict with my clients about clean and healthy eating…but now my closet eating has made itself public in a major way. I also have to recognize the fact that while the weight was put on rather quickly, it WILL take some time to come off but it WILL come off if I am committed to cleaning up my act. So with those thoughts in mind, I picked myself up off the floor determined to come up with a game plan to take these extra pounds off.

The lesson in all of this: We sometimes make poor eating choices for extended periods of time. BUT its never too late to stop the trajectory of the direction in which we are going and make a U-turn. U-Turns are okay…especially when that turn leads to better decisions, healthier choices and a closet full of clothes that fit.


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